I encourage perspective. Take a different perspective on things. (Prairie 2012)
Recently, I was faced with something that I hadn't anticipated on coming across. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a young man who didn't know what happiness was. He stated, "Sophia, I don't know how to be happy. The only thing I know how to do is work. I don't know how to communicate" He continued, "I have no friends, I am socially awkward, and I am just frustrated. I feel like people walk all over me and all I can do is give in because that is all I know how to do." The hurt in this young man's eyes were furthered by tears rolling down his face. This young man was struggling. There were so many components to his outcry that had invoked thought. I had to pause, and think. I had to think about what I was going to say to this young man to convince him that change is possible and that the grass is a little greener on the other side. Oofta.
I thought about how this entire situation started from something so small and so basic. The inability to communicate. This led to the inability to make friends. The led to the inability for this young man to say "No" to the things that he didn't want to commit to. This is what led the young man to say "Yes" because work is the only thing that he knows how to do. I have come across too many cases of this. I have come into contact with people who do not know how to communicate. This is SO unfortunate. It hampers the person who cannot communicate, and this hampers the people who correspond with a person who cannot communicate.
Pause. This post is going to include a couple of thoughts. First, the ability to communicate. Or I suppose, the inability to communicate. This also corresponds with another topic, the ability to live the life that YOU want to live. You are in control. There we go, there is the moral of this post, YOU are in control.
Play.
I think that the ability to communicate creates the right to be selfish about your own well-being. Follow me here, for a moment. I personally think that if you are able to communicate to others, you know what to prioritize. What needs to be said, what doesn't need to be said, and for what purpose these words do or do not need to be said, are set by what you choose to communicate to others. After all, and outcry is said because the person communicating is looking for help, looking for a solution, or simply looking for a friend. Solution, found through communication can be such a mind blowing experience. What prevents this solution from happening is wall the becomes erected between what you want and what you don't think you can have. The side that is blocked, that a person can no longer see, is the side that holds what you want.
This wall certainly exists for the young man I have been referring to. This wall leads to the inability for him to fight for what he wants, to be selfish for his own well-being. For him, being selfish about what he wanted never seemed to be an option because he was never able to fully communicate.
My question is, is is wrong to be selfish every once in awhile? I contend that it isn't. It isn't at all. I believe this because I believe that you have control over what you want in your life. You have control over what you want to pursue and you have control of what you prioritize.
Here is a little excerpt of my thoughts that I feel I need to address as well.
- There was a letter to the editor publication in our last college newspaper. It addressed the "inadequacies" of one of our organizations on campus. The author happened to be apart of the organization that he was criticizing. The author went on and on and ON about what this organization had been doing that was displeasing, in his opinion. Here is where I find fault in this author. This author NEVER once mentions anything what HE himself has done to fix the problems that he sees in this organization. NEVER once does he say that he has tried to change the way this organization is view on campus, how this organization should change, or what should be fixed for the future. You know why? Because he hasn't done ANYTHING to change the organization that he is criticizing. He doesn't once represent himself as a catalyst, because he can't. It is such disapproving thing to not take advantage of the ability to change. I personally have a hard time respecting this letter to the editor because of this reason. It is one thing to point out the flaws of an organization, it is another to see if YOU yourself have acted in hopes of changing these flaws. PUT ACTIONS TO YOUR WORDS. If you feel that something needs to be changed, talk about it THEN work towards this change. Hmph.
I realize now, that that had absolutely nothing to do with what I had been addressing earlier. But hopefully, you enjoyed the break.
So what did I eventually end up telling this young man who had tears rolling down his face? I told him to be selfish. I told him that if you want something, go for it. If you don't want to do something don't say yes to the person asking. You have the ability to say no. You always have the ability to say no. I told him that if he wants more friends, embrace his "social awkwardness" and love who you are. I told him that if he thinks people walk all over him, tell that to their face. Tell the people who he interacts with that " I am a person too. I have things to do, places to be, and people to see." I told him that in order to find happiness, you need to know and act on what you want. I told him, "YOU are in control." I told him to fight for what he wants.
So I suppose my questions to you are this. Are you communicating? Are you in control? Are YOU living the life that YOU want to live? Let me know.
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