Assuming The World Around Us....

Recently...

This is why I go to school in Wisconsin (Spring 2012)

I have stumbled upon a few topics of interest.  I prefer to start with the one that I hope, opens up some eyes.   And then I guess we'll go from there.

I don't think there is an official, formal way of going about introducing this topic of interest.  I think the title says it all.  We assume the world around us.  Stop and think for a moment.  When are you not making assumptions?  When are you not making assumptions about others, your environment, or events in general?  That's just it.  You never stop making assumptions.  While this is a short, yet simple observation, there is a silent beauty in the things that you do not have to assume.  The best part about not assuming, is the fact that it truly gives you a peace of mind.  You aren't left with wondering if you look okay, why someone else is doing something the way they are doing it, why something appears to be what it is, or anything like that.  Jimney Christmas, folks.  Look at how much we assume.  We are always drawing assumptions either to fit the mold that we believe, or to convince ourselves that something is acceptable.  Why can't the world just think in simpler terms?  Now, now, I am not naive to this world (that's a lie, we all are naive to this world, really) but honestly, I do wish people would think in straightforward simple approach. Let's think about this. What are things in life that we don't assume?  For me, it is nature.  I cannot begin to describe to you  how beautiful I find nature to be.  The most calming concept in the world would involve a camera and a car ride.  Blissfully stopping in then middle of nowhere and snapping shots of nature.  What a beautiful idea.  Writing about it, simply makes me smile.  Sure, you can assume why the colors of a sunset are what they are, but you're not going to question it for the entire duration of your gaze.  You are going to love and embrace the beauty that the sunset has to offer.  End of story.  Plain and simple.  Think about it.

There are things in life that you never expect to have to deal with.  I'll disclose.     

Depression medication, anxiety medication, and alcohol.  A mistake and trend that shouldn't even have been developed.  But it was developed.  Moving on.

She began by stealing the alcohol because she recognized that the people around her, her friends, would not allow her to do such an injustice to herself.  And I can't tell it is a show or not.  We, up until this point, have assumed that she's okay.  "Now that she's on medication, things should be better, right?"  I believed that.  I assumed.  

"I can't live like this, I am worthless, I am worth nothing, I can't live like this" - The screams continue to echo though my head.  She proceeds to drink the alcohol, and thus, making life oh so interesting for not only her, but everyone else that she effects as well.  The yelling.  The screaming.  The wailing.  All of it, made those around her question, "What the hell is going on?"  Walk out the room, find her one the floor in front of her door.  Wailing.  Historically.  And the frightening thing?  This was certainly real life.  This is so real life to those who live on the floor because this is the FOURTH time that this has happened.  And so the comforting begins.  The effort of numerous sisters.  Until, she decides to run away.  She decides to run away in hopes of dying.  She decides to run away.  And I still can't tell if it is all a show.  Before she runs away, we're sitting. We're sitting in her bed, she's crying hysterically, and telling me her pains.  She is telling me about how she has both alcohol and pills and scissors, and she has the power.  Her life is actually in her hands.  I respond.  I'm terrified.  I motivate life, and I think, until she legitimately runs out of the room, that I've been doing a great job to calm her down.  She's out of her bed, we're joking around, and a small sense of peace has come over me.  Apparently not.  So she runs away.  At this point we all are concerned.  I legitimately found the scariest part of this to be the uncertainty.  The uncertainty that when looking for this woman, that I could turn the corner and find her dead.  I could open up a bathroom look behind the shower curtain, and see her dead.  She doesn't understand the emotional distress that she had put everyone through that night.  But that doesn't matter.  So she has run away.  The entirety of campus is searched.  And.  She ends up back in her room. At this point, the hall director is called.  She converses with the suicidal student, and emerges saying "The authorities will be coming." And my thought at this point is, "Thank God, FINALLY."  Finally, this young woman is going to get some help, finally her parents will be notified, and finally, everybody can stop worrying. 

Unfortunately, that never happened.  The police had come because she had been utilizing suicidal language.  The authorities come.  I am telling you now.  If you had been listening to the conversation from the other side of the door, you would be sick.  Absolutely sick.  She's laughing, she's joking around, she is all of a sudden sober enough to comprehend what is going on, she is all of a sudden sober enough to get her way out of the mess that she had created.  This girl, did not get help.  This girl is still going to suffer.  She is going to suffer, we are going to suffer, and She will continue to be miserable.  And as much as I want to give up on her, I want help for her, more than anything else.  I can't even speak to her. I can't look at her, and I can't even begin to think about what I would say to her.  This is one of the biggest double binds that I've ever been in.  I truly wish she would just open herself up to help, I wish someone could take the next step.  I wish I knew what to do. 

On a separate note.  (I apologize, for I must discontinue this story.)  ((But, I think you get the point.))

There is something beautiful about watching people scurry.  It emphasizes the different story that everybody has.  

Life, my friends, is precious.

Cheers.